How Pretend Play Builds Empathy and Cooperation in Young Children
The short answer: pretend play gives children practice at seeing through someone else's eyes and at working with other children toward a shared story. The research is more cautious than most toy marketing: pretend play is one good route to empathy and social skills, not a magic one. What seems to matter most is the play partners, adults and other children, and whether the toys give everyone a role.
Does pretend play really teach empathy?
It helps, but the evidence is mixed. The most thorough review, published in Psychological Bulletin in 2013, found that pretend play is one of several routes to social skills and that existing research does not support strong claims that it is uniquely necessary (Lillard et al., 2013). The authors suggested that the adults, children, and environment that come with play may be doing much of the work.
We think that is a useful finding, not a disappointing one. It tells parents and teachers where to put their effort: in joining the play, talking during it, and setting up materials that invite children to play together.
The American Academy of Pediatrics describes play with parents and peers as a key opportunity to build social-emotional skills and the self-regulation behind executive function (Yogman et al., 2018).
How does pretend play build empathy?
- Taking roles. When a child plays the baby, then the parent, they practice thinking about what each one needs.
- Naming feelings. "The baby is sad. Why?" gives children words for emotions, and practice reading them in others.
- Solving small problems. "Two friends want the swing. What do they do?" Children try answers with no real stakes.
How does it build cooperation?
Shared pretend play is a negotiation. Who is the mom? Where is the store? What happens next? Children who play together have to agree on a story, take turns, and adjust when a friend has a different idea. Adults can help by suggesting roles and asking questions rather than directing.
What toys support empathy and cooperative play?
- People figures and dolls. They give children characters to feel for. Figures in several skin tones and ages widen whose feelings children practice imagining.
- Shared building materials. A basket big enough for two or three children encourages building together rather than side by side.
- Dramatic play props. Kitchens, doctor kits, and dress-up clothes create roles that need more than one player.
The 48-Piece Family Play Set works well for small groups: enough adults and children in four skin tones for up to eight figures at once, plus Activity Cards in English, French and Spanish with games children play together.
What can adults do during pretend play?
- Join in a small role and let the child lead the story.
- Name feelings as they come up: "Your figure looks lonely. Who could sit with her?"
- Invite another child in: "Maria's family is going to the park too. Can they come?"
- Step back once the children are playing together.
Teachers can find seven structured activities on friendship and emotions in our free Magnetic Wooden Friends Set Educator Guide, each aligned to Head Start Early Learning Outcomes Framework goals.
At what age does pretend play start?
Simple pretending (feeding a doll, talking on a toy phone) often appears around 18 months. Shared pretend play with other children grows through ages 3 to 5. For toys that suit the younger end, see the best open-ended toys for 1 to 3 year olds.
Frequently asked questions
How does pretend play help social-emotional development?
It gives children practice taking other people's perspectives, naming feelings, and negotiating with playmates. Research suggests adult and peer involvement is a large part of the benefit.
What toys help toddlers develop empathy?
Dolls and people figures, especially in several skin tones and ages, plus dramatic play props that invite caring roles, such as feeding and putting a baby to bed.
What toys encourage cooperative play?
Materials with enough pieces for two or three children, and props that create roles: building sets, play kitchens, dollhouses, and people figures.
Is pretend play proven to increase empathy?
Not on its own. A major 2013 research review found pretend play is one of several helpful routes, with the people involved playing a large role.
Sources: Lillard, A. S., et al. (2013). The impact of pretend play on children's development: A review of the evidence. Psychological Bulletin, 139(1), 1 to 34. Yogman, M., et al. (2018). The Power of Play. Pediatrics, 142(3), e20182058.